A Few Quick Notes
First, I have added a couple new links to blogs operated by friends of mine. If you know Randy and Beth or Tony and Jennifer, there is great information about their family and their lives. If you don't know them, they are still fun blogs to check out....so check 'em out.
Second, I'm putting together a post on my world famous food rules. And by "world famous" I mean the same thing that it means with regard to Chili or Clam Chowder on half the menus in America...i.e., not famous at all. Anyway, if you have rules of your own for the food you eat, be ready to add to the list.
Third, here are a few things I noticed on my recent road trip to Sacramento, CA to see my brothers and sister-in-law and niece and nephew.
1. Someone has secretly connected the button that sets my cruise control to the brake lights of every other car on the road. Without fail when I set my cruise control, the car in front of me brakes. This can not be coincidence. For lack of a better suspect, I blame Ralph Nader.
2. My 5 year old son had every bit as much fun sliding down the slide in the giant Coke bottle in left center at AT&T park as he did riding the rides at 6-Flags Marine World. The lesson? Kids are easily entertained. Save the college fund you will spend at Disneyland and take your kids to the park. Of course it helps if you also dress up like Daffy Duck, but I'll leave that up to you.
3. People who haven't been around my oldest son Gibson in a while will no doubt notice the next time they are that he has become a full blown sports nut. He knows virtually every player in the NBA and what team they're on, what their number is and whether they have a "bad attitude." Most of you will no doubt blame his father who occasionally has a passing casual interest in atheletics. That would be a mistake, however, because the true fault lies with my good friends Tim and Peggy Remm. Tim and Peggy, already first ballot hall of famers in the generous hall of fame, gave Gibson what seemed like 10 zillion basketball cards and a collectors basketball with a picture of MJ himself on it. Gibson spent the rest of the trip peppering us with questions about basketball and I begrudgingly indulged him inspite of my own reluctance to discuss sports. All this to say, if Gibson starts arguing with you about whether the Hornets should have let go of Jamal Magloire, you can blame our dear friends the Remms.
4. Two year olds do not enjoy being plunged under water by their father who was charged with holding them while sitting on an air matress in a pool and happens to fall off said air matress. Remember this.
5. There is nothing like pulling into redding after driving south on I-5 to remind you why so many people in California want to move to Oregon.
6. To some people Ikea is better than 100 Disneylands, and those same people can spend just as much time in Ikea as they could at the Magic Kingdom, just ask my lovely wife. Plus, where would you put 100 Disneylands anyway?
7. If your 2 year old niece waits excitedly at the door of her favorite uncle after her uncle has been gone for several days and she swings open the door ready to run into the arms of said uncle and instead she sees you...and you look like me....your niece may spend the rest of the week terrified of you. I don't know why this is, but be warned.
8. My wife is way smarter than me. Ok, so I didn't need a trip to California to reach that rather obvious conclusion. But, not only did she pack the car full of activities and goodies to entertain our two boys on the way down, but she held back a seperate bag of goodies and play things that would then be "new" for the long ride home. Now that is the kind of thinking that makes a long road trip with two boys under 6 not only tolerable, but truly enjoyable. I really should get my wife to post to this blog a gameplan for making a good family roadtrip. It would be a valuable public service. Plus she's really really pretty. That doesn't have anything to do with what I was talking about, but she is, so there.
9. There is nothing like being in the sun to remind you why so many people live in California in the first place.
10. I know big SUVs are evil and all, but when you're cruising up the mountains and the whole family has plenty of room and that giant engine is pulling you past the minvans and hybrids, that sense of satisfaction is worth a whole lot of gas. Not at $3.50 a gallon, but still...a lot.
Finally, here is a true story you might enjoy from my recent trial. On the first day of trial the 4 lawyers for the different defendants in the case and the lawyer for the plaintiff arived in court. Tradition (though not rule) dictates that plaintiffs sit at the table closest to the jury. One of the lawyers for a co-defendant sat at that table instead. The plaintiff's lawyer started yelling and swearing at him to "get out of his chair" and the other lawyer refused. The plaintiff's lawyer pushed the defense lawyer's papers and notebooks out of the way and placed his own stuff on the table. At that point the defense attorney simply moved plaintiff's stuff asside and replaced it with his own materials prompting another volley of profanity laced chest thumping.
when the Judge finally came in, the plaintiff's lawyer refused to sit at the open table away from the jury and instead stood muttering insults under his breath directed at the defense attorney that had "stolen his chair." Now keep in mind that there is no jury here and would not even be one coming in on this day to see who was sitting in what chair as if it mattered anyway. finally, after about 30 minutes, the court finally realized that plaintiff's counsel was just standing awkwardly on one side of the court room and ordered them to sit down.
The next morning, the plaintiff's lawyer sent one of his young associates to the court house before it even opened even though our hearing the next day was not to be until 10. the associate camped out in the court room sitting in the chair closest to the jury box. Let me just say, as a trial attorney who has tried more than 20 jury trials, where you sit in the court room matters about as much as whether you have light brown hair or dark brown hair, and maybe less. Anyway, when the defense attorney came into the court room and saw the associate in "his chair" he did everything but challenge him to a fight to get him to move without success. When the plaintiff's lawyer finally got there and sat in the chair he had worked so hard for, the two lawyers began yelling at each other and threatening all sorts of physical unpleasnantries too sordid and twisted to mention here.
In the end, the case was postponed and neither got the overwhelming advantage of being a few feet closer to a jury. Incredibly, neither of these attorneys are in the second grade, though both of them did provide some spice to an otherwise dry hearing. The lesson as always is that people are insane.
Second, I'm putting together a post on my world famous food rules. And by "world famous" I mean the same thing that it means with regard to Chili or Clam Chowder on half the menus in America...i.e., not famous at all. Anyway, if you have rules of your own for the food you eat, be ready to add to the list.
Third, here are a few things I noticed on my recent road trip to Sacramento, CA to see my brothers and sister-in-law and niece and nephew.
1. Someone has secretly connected the button that sets my cruise control to the brake lights of every other car on the road. Without fail when I set my cruise control, the car in front of me brakes. This can not be coincidence. For lack of a better suspect, I blame Ralph Nader.
2. My 5 year old son had every bit as much fun sliding down the slide in the giant Coke bottle in left center at AT&T park as he did riding the rides at 6-Flags Marine World. The lesson? Kids are easily entertained. Save the college fund you will spend at Disneyland and take your kids to the park. Of course it helps if you also dress up like Daffy Duck, but I'll leave that up to you.
3. People who haven't been around my oldest son Gibson in a while will no doubt notice the next time they are that he has become a full blown sports nut. He knows virtually every player in the NBA and what team they're on, what their number is and whether they have a "bad attitude." Most of you will no doubt blame his father who occasionally has a passing casual interest in atheletics. That would be a mistake, however, because the true fault lies with my good friends Tim and Peggy Remm. Tim and Peggy, already first ballot hall of famers in the generous hall of fame, gave Gibson what seemed like 10 zillion basketball cards and a collectors basketball with a picture of MJ himself on it. Gibson spent the rest of the trip peppering us with questions about basketball and I begrudgingly indulged him inspite of my own reluctance to discuss sports. All this to say, if Gibson starts arguing with you about whether the Hornets should have let go of Jamal Magloire, you can blame our dear friends the Remms.
4. Two year olds do not enjoy being plunged under water by their father who was charged with holding them while sitting on an air matress in a pool and happens to fall off said air matress. Remember this.
5. There is nothing like pulling into redding after driving south on I-5 to remind you why so many people in California want to move to Oregon.
6. To some people Ikea is better than 100 Disneylands, and those same people can spend just as much time in Ikea as they could at the Magic Kingdom, just ask my lovely wife. Plus, where would you put 100 Disneylands anyway?
7. If your 2 year old niece waits excitedly at the door of her favorite uncle after her uncle has been gone for several days and she swings open the door ready to run into the arms of said uncle and instead she sees you...and you look like me....your niece may spend the rest of the week terrified of you. I don't know why this is, but be warned.
8. My wife is way smarter than me. Ok, so I didn't need a trip to California to reach that rather obvious conclusion. But, not only did she pack the car full of activities and goodies to entertain our two boys on the way down, but she held back a seperate bag of goodies and play things that would then be "new" for the long ride home. Now that is the kind of thinking that makes a long road trip with two boys under 6 not only tolerable, but truly enjoyable. I really should get my wife to post to this blog a gameplan for making a good family roadtrip. It would be a valuable public service. Plus she's really really pretty. That doesn't have anything to do with what I was talking about, but she is, so there.
9. There is nothing like being in the sun to remind you why so many people live in California in the first place.
10. I know big SUVs are evil and all, but when you're cruising up the mountains and the whole family has plenty of room and that giant engine is pulling you past the minvans and hybrids, that sense of satisfaction is worth a whole lot of gas. Not at $3.50 a gallon, but still...a lot.
Finally, here is a true story you might enjoy from my recent trial. On the first day of trial the 4 lawyers for the different defendants in the case and the lawyer for the plaintiff arived in court. Tradition (though not rule) dictates that plaintiffs sit at the table closest to the jury. One of the lawyers for a co-defendant sat at that table instead. The plaintiff's lawyer started yelling and swearing at him to "get out of his chair" and the other lawyer refused. The plaintiff's lawyer pushed the defense lawyer's papers and notebooks out of the way and placed his own stuff on the table. At that point the defense attorney simply moved plaintiff's stuff asside and replaced it with his own materials prompting another volley of profanity laced chest thumping.
when the Judge finally came in, the plaintiff's lawyer refused to sit at the open table away from the jury and instead stood muttering insults under his breath directed at the defense attorney that had "stolen his chair." Now keep in mind that there is no jury here and would not even be one coming in on this day to see who was sitting in what chair as if it mattered anyway. finally, after about 30 minutes, the court finally realized that plaintiff's counsel was just standing awkwardly on one side of the court room and ordered them to sit down.
The next morning, the plaintiff's lawyer sent one of his young associates to the court house before it even opened even though our hearing the next day was not to be until 10. the associate camped out in the court room sitting in the chair closest to the jury box. Let me just say, as a trial attorney who has tried more than 20 jury trials, where you sit in the court room matters about as much as whether you have light brown hair or dark brown hair, and maybe less. Anyway, when the defense attorney came into the court room and saw the associate in "his chair" he did everything but challenge him to a fight to get him to move without success. When the plaintiff's lawyer finally got there and sat in the chair he had worked so hard for, the two lawyers began yelling at each other and threatening all sorts of physical unpleasnantries too sordid and twisted to mention here.
In the end, the case was postponed and neither got the overwhelming advantage of being a few feet closer to a jury. Incredibly, neither of these attorneys are in the second grade, though both of them did provide some spice to an otherwise dry hearing. The lesson as always is that people are insane.
Comments
Did you upload that Green Lantern picture just to mock me? I do believe Randy was present when my wife and I went to a costume party as Hal Jordan and Diana Prince (Wonder Woman) (though I think I've destroyed all the pictures), so now I'm wondering....
If not, you have just receieved "most favored guest" status at my blog. That comes with all of the pomp and priveleges ordinarily associated with such a position. I do love Green Lantern.
Plus you teach high school which for my money has to be about the hardest job on the planet, that is until someone is hired to keep Hillary from being mean to someone on camera during her presidential campaign. Still, that's a tough job.
Glad you found my blog and found something to enjoy. Randy and Beth are good friends.
Randy, ummmmm....I hope I did....yikes.
Brad, So true. Also, to help you out with the Green Lantern references, I'm going to start a running reasons to like Green Lantern string in this blog. Tune in periodically to discover new and I'm sure fascinating reasons to like "his lanternness"
Reason 1: know one really knows the limits of his power ring so the only limits are the imagination. It's a bit like trying to define Superman's powers in some way. Since the comics never did, if you can imagine it, it could be. So, if you ever wake up and some magic carnival device has done a reverse "Big" on you and you find that you're 6 years old again and you find some other kids who want to play superheroes, you should definately be Green Lantern, because no matter what the other kids can do, you can always say, "oh yeah, well my power ring just put you in a green super prison for 100 infinities." And they won't be able to say you can't do that because, who knows?
These are the kinds of things I think about while solving the world's legal problems.
Bonus points for anyone who can tell me who wrote the lines he always repeats when he charges his ring. "In brightest day..."