Signs of Our Times

I wanted to get a bunch of quick movie reviews posted and will try to do that this week, but haven’t had time yet. So first, the picture that is posted with this blog comes from a website that sells replicas of signs from London. This is apparently a real sign in London, England. Of course, the imagination is running wild with the possible contents of the box, but I also like how forceful it is. Apparently it is not enough to provide protection, but you must clearly direct someone to use it. Nice. Here are my thoughts on what might be in this box:

1. A note containing a strongly worded reprimand which is what the English Bobbies are armed with instead of guns. Not surprisingly, English criminals are still foregoing these notes in favor of guns.

2. A sandwich. Not only nature’s perfect food, but a recipe for peace on earth. Probably roast beef.

3. It’s not a real box, but one of those “air boxes” created by mime’s and street performers…oh no wait, that would likely encourage an assault, never mind.

4. A phone connecting you to an automated answering service that begins, “hello, you’ve reached ‘phone in a box’ protection. If you are about to be assaulted, please press 1. If you are feeling the urge to assault someone else please press 2. If you believe the assault may cause you serious injury, please hang up and run like your pants are on fire.”

5. Another sign that says, “watch your bum, you’re about to be assaulted.” Ahhh, British humor.

6. A Frenchman who will immediately surrender on your behalf and then take your beating for you.

7. A wig and cattle gun to make you look like the bad guy from “No Country for Old Men.” If you are fortunate enough to be assaulted by fans of the Cohens’ films this will be terrifying to them.

8. A pen. After all it was a great English poet and playwright who first wrote, “the pen is mightier than the sword.” So, if you are about to be assaulted with a sword, this will apparently make you mightier. That said, sword related assaults appear to be on the decline while misuse of the pen continues to see ever increasing popularity. So keep that in mind.

9. Nothing, the box is a metaphor for the protection that Scotland Yard provides. Sadly, 47 people in London and the surrounding area died last year trying to protect themselves with metaphors.

10. Love. Because all we need is love. I know this is true because it is in a song. Also, like it or not, we all live in a yellow submarine.

Well those are my guesses. What do you think? Does anyone out there know the real answer?