Warning: Knives are sharp and coffee is hot
Both of my sons share many of my better qualities. Both are witty and intelligent to an almost alarming degree and both lead secret lives as ninjas. Like my youngest son, I too have these really cute freckles and could charm the spots off a leopard if I were in the need of spots (which of course I am not as I don’t even have room for all my stripes). And my oldest son has already begun to see the world like a products liability attorney.
Ok, in truth, unlike G2, I have no freckles to speak of and even less charm, but the last comment about my eldest is true. He brought me a Frisbee today that is your standard hard plastic Frisbee roughly 10-12 inches in diameter. It is made for or by the fine people at Colombia Sportswear Company and contains the following warning.
Remember, I’m not making this up and this is on a large, blue, hard plastic Frisbee.
“WARNING: CHOKING HAZARD – Small parts. Not for children under 3 years. For ages 4 and up.”
This spawned the following conversation:
G1: Daddy, look at this warning. Who would choke on a Frisbee?
Daddy: (laughing while reading). Good question, it is amazing what you have to warn some people against.
G1: I think if you aren’t smart enough to not put a Frisbee in your mouth, you probably aren’t smart enough to read the warning.
Daddy: (removing a large blue disc from his mouth) Come to think of it, G, I think you are right.
My son is well on his way to help me keep the world safe for corporate America as they carry their immense burden of trying to protect stupid people from themselves.
Also, both Gs would want me to remind you that we don’t say “stupid.” It is not good manners and if you say it you’re a dumb head.
PS, check out Randy’s blog to see the fee you have to pay for a good blogtigator these days.
Ok, in truth, unlike G2, I have no freckles to speak of and even less charm, but the last comment about my eldest is true. He brought me a Frisbee today that is your standard hard plastic Frisbee roughly 10-12 inches in diameter. It is made for or by the fine people at Colombia Sportswear Company and contains the following warning.
Remember, I’m not making this up and this is on a large, blue, hard plastic Frisbee.
“WARNING: CHOKING HAZARD – Small parts. Not for children under 3 years. For ages 4 and up.”
This spawned the following conversation:
G1: Daddy, look at this warning. Who would choke on a Frisbee?
Daddy: (laughing while reading). Good question, it is amazing what you have to warn some people against.
G1: I think if you aren’t smart enough to not put a Frisbee in your mouth, you probably aren’t smart enough to read the warning.
Daddy: (removing a large blue disc from his mouth) Come to think of it, G, I think you are right.
My son is well on his way to help me keep the world safe for corporate America as they carry their immense burden of trying to protect stupid people from themselves.
Also, both Gs would want me to remind you that we don’t say “stupid.” It is not good manners and if you say it you’re a dumb head.
PS, check out Randy’s blog to see the fee you have to pay for a good blogtigator these days.
Comments
Is there any way I could retain G1 for dumb head consultations only?
Fees negotiable, of course.
I'm sure somewhere in these United States some well-meaning (and stupi-???) (word edited to be blogkidfriendly) Dad went out with his child to play catch with a frisbee for the very first time. You could imagine his horror as he tossed the disc to his son only to mistakenly (and without malice) hit his son in the throat, thus causing choking of said child as well as "wife-scorn."
However, I did enjoy the picture of you and Greg trying to insert a disc into your mouths.
It's also nice to know that my home is not the only one in America in which the use of the word "stupid" is prohibited. When my son moves out, I'm going to spend about three days spending all the "stupid's" I've been saving up.
Peggy, G1 is available for consulting, but his fee has to be paid in legos or basketball cards and is non-negotiable.
Cwinwc, you are no doubt right that somewhere some Dad has hit his kid in the neck with a frisbee and maybe even caused choking, but what gets me about this warning is that it specifically warns for small pieces. Perhaps, it is so you don't throw it stright down into the pavement at full force which could cause a small piece to break off and go flying into your kid's mouth and cause choking. If this is the case, good thing they have the accompanying age appropriate information because when my youngest was 3 fragments went flying into his mout willy-nilly, but now that he's turned 4, nothing like that happens.
GL, I would kind of like to be there for your explosion of stupids. Try to get that on youtube when it happens.
Cheryl, I'm not sure if that was meant as a shot at his father or just good insight, so I'm going to assume the latter and agree.
I enjoyed this post and your last one, too. Makes me think of times past (when I was actively practicing law in an insurance defense firm).
Fun stuff, indeed!
Dee