You are still a child, whether you know it or not
The other day my buddy Randy posted to his blog a running diary of a day he had spent with his son and his son’s friend who was visiting from out of town. He described it as the perfect day for his son. It was spent with a good friend, fishing, eating In and Out Burgers, video games, basketball and Sonic slushies. The thing is, everyone who knows Randy knew that he was really describing the perfect day for himself. What’s more, I am certain many if not most of the people reading that would have considered that a pretty great day. But Randy had to pass it off (sort of) like it was all for his son and not also for him. He had to pretend at least a little that he wouldn’t really enjoy that kind of day, but it was for the kids. Why?
So, here’s the question for the day. Why do we stop doing the things we love in the name of adulthood? Is it the apostle Paul’s comment about putting childish ways behind him? Is it because all of the people who didn’t know how to enjoy themselves as children bully us into acting like them to make themselves feel better? Is it “society?” Is it just me? One thing’s for sure, I know it isn’t because we genuinely stop enjoying many of the activities we did as children.
Of course, when we were kids we had more time and fewer responsibilities and so, unless you’re independently wealthy, you can’t spend as much time playing as you did as a kid, but I’m not just talking about playing. I’m talking about being silly. You know, doing random stupid stuff because it is genuinely fun, even if it isn’t very sophisticated or…grown up. The thing is, I think many of us actually do hang on to some of our favorite childhood activities, but now we act all embarrassed and sheepish about them, like someone afraid to admit they used to like Duran Duran album. (hey, they had catch melodies, alright!)
That said, it is time for a rebellion against adulthood. I’m not saying quit your job, stop bathing and using manners and spend your days with your X-Box (though if you ever get a Saturday all to yourself, an occasional day like this can be the best kind of vacation). In fact, if you are one of the wise ones who has held on to the fun activities of your youth, you don’t need to change what you do at all. No this rebellion is only to remove the shame associated with silly childish fun. It’s time to stand up and boldly declare, “I’m going to spend the next 30 minutes playing nerf basketball and chewing an entire package of gum.” Or, I’m going to buy the DVD of the “Super Friends” cartoon and watch them while eating fun-dip and I don’t care who knows it.”
To start things off here’s my list of totally unproductive, unsophisticated things I do or would like to do or plan to do and I don’t care who knows about it or whether anyone thinks less of me for it. It is time for us to be able to have fun without guilt or shame (unless of course you are doing something wrong or shameful and then shame on you, stop it right now you lazy, irresponsible scofflaw).
1. Indoor basketball: When I was younger I could turn anything into a basketball game. Of course I had nerf hoops aplenty (probably went through 20 of them) and they were great, but garbage cans work or really any container that will hold a small projectile will do. And shooting hoops is fun wherever you are in whatever form. I strongly encourage you try the following in your home. Yes, in your home, even in the living room!! Get a small garbage can, move it to the center of the room sit next to your wife, husband, buddy, son, daughter, etc on the couch. Each of you wad up 10 pieces of perfectly good paper of different colors so you can tell them apart and then set a timer for one minute or 30 seconds or whatever and see who can make the most baskets. This is best as a full contact sport with pushing, tickling, yelling, fake gross body noises, etc. Then, feel free to brag about your winnings to total strangers like you just scored 25 points in the NBA finals. This never stops being fun. Trust me. Also, if you have a high ceiling and can find a nerf-like hoop with a more stable rim, I have a game for you called tip-hoops that could change your life. It nearly single-handedly ruined and saved my college career.
2. Silly arguments: Find a buddy and engage in serious debate about something like if all the college mascots fought (not the guys in costumes, but the actual mascots), in a giant fight in a huge warehouse, who would win? Make sure to decide ahead of time whether you are including acts of nature like: Waves, Green Waves, Hurricanes, etc. Usually, that just makes it too strange. Have this debate for at least an hour, preferably while watching something ridiculous on TV like MTV Cribs. By the way, I think my money is on Tar-Heels, assuming they’re armed.
3. Order soda. I don’t really like the taste of alcohol. I don’t have any moral objection to it, I just have never acquired the taste for it and never saw a compelling reason to try, though all the people around me seem to drink more and more the more they know me. But when you go to a nice restaurant and everyone at the table is ordering wine, or when you are at a cocktail party and everyone else is ordering,…well…cocktails, there is nothing that says “I’m still a child” like ordering Pepsi. I will admit that the oppressive weight of peer pressure has often left me ordering water, or even worse ordering expensive drinks that taste to me roughly like synthetic motor oil, when what I really wanted was Pepsi. Well, I say, order the Pepsi for crying out loud. Even better, order the Strawberry Fanta. You liked it when you were a kid, it hasn’t changed and you haven’t as much as claim. It is still delicious with very little risk of leaving you with a hangover. So, why don’t we order it? Because of society. Well, I say, hooey and poppycock, have a Pepsi.
4. Use the words “hooey” and “poppycock” as often as possible. I don’t think this is something I did when I was a kid, but it is great silly fun.
5. Eat candy. Not grown up candy like Lindor chocolate or fancy behind the glass case chocolates. I’m talking, fun dip, bottle caps, Nerds, giant sucker rings, pixie sticks. I dare you to try to be unhappy while eating one of these items. I have done the research and it proves conclusively that it is not possible.
6. Read comic books. Yes, it is popular now to call people who read comic books dorks and I don’t actually have any comic books myself, but if I did I would read them and I love the Green Lantern. So there.
7. Play the games your kids play with them and without them. I’m talking about getting on the jungle gym with your kids. Try out the monkey bars (warning, this game will now result in a separated shoulder, just so you know) Go down the slide. Run up the slide. Find one of those big inflatable bouncy places and get in and bounce around with your kids and then when your kids get tired, just keep on going, because you don’t need kids to enjoy doing kid stuff and it’s time we get out from behind that cover.
Ok, so that’s just a beginning. These activities won’t work for everyone (though, I would love to see what you would add to the list). I know some people actually enjoy wine and that is fine…I guess…though I still think it is all a lie everyone is telling each other for fear of being the only one who looks silly, but whatever. In summary, follow these guidelines and get back to doing the things that have always made you smile and laugh and make the people around you roll their grown up eyes and shake their grown up heads at you.
1. Think about what you did as a kid and ask yourself honestly, did I really stop enjoying that or did I just start thinking others would make fun of me if I kept it up? If it is the latter, try it again, I bet you still like it and if you don’t, at least now you know.
2. Don’t be ashamed of the things you like. If you like Pepsi and candy and foosball and video arcades and trampolines, don’t pretend you don’t. That said, if the things you like are illegal and hurtful and disturbing (according to me), be ashamed and seek professional help.
3. Don’t quit your job, abandon your family duties or otherwise spend tons of time doing this. I’m not talking about dropping out of life to be irresponsible. I’m talking about spending the time you do on things you only pretend to like on the things you actually like and doing the things you actually like without feeling like you shouldn’t just because of your age.
Who’s with me???
I’m going out to buy some Lucky Charms and some Gobstoppers and I might just talk in a fake British accent for the rest of the day or maybe just copy everything the people around me say. It is fun. Trust me. And if any of this makes you think I’m a huge dork or immature or juvenile idiot, just remember that I’m rubber and you’re glue and anything you say bounces off me and sticks to you….for infinity.
So, here’s the question for the day. Why do we stop doing the things we love in the name of adulthood? Is it the apostle Paul’s comment about putting childish ways behind him? Is it because all of the people who didn’t know how to enjoy themselves as children bully us into acting like them to make themselves feel better? Is it “society?” Is it just me? One thing’s for sure, I know it isn’t because we genuinely stop enjoying many of the activities we did as children.
Of course, when we were kids we had more time and fewer responsibilities and so, unless you’re independently wealthy, you can’t spend as much time playing as you did as a kid, but I’m not just talking about playing. I’m talking about being silly. You know, doing random stupid stuff because it is genuinely fun, even if it isn’t very sophisticated or…grown up. The thing is, I think many of us actually do hang on to some of our favorite childhood activities, but now we act all embarrassed and sheepish about them, like someone afraid to admit they used to like Duran Duran album. (hey, they had catch melodies, alright!)
That said, it is time for a rebellion against adulthood. I’m not saying quit your job, stop bathing and using manners and spend your days with your X-Box (though if you ever get a Saturday all to yourself, an occasional day like this can be the best kind of vacation). In fact, if you are one of the wise ones who has held on to the fun activities of your youth, you don’t need to change what you do at all. No this rebellion is only to remove the shame associated with silly childish fun. It’s time to stand up and boldly declare, “I’m going to spend the next 30 minutes playing nerf basketball and chewing an entire package of gum.” Or, I’m going to buy the DVD of the “Super Friends” cartoon and watch them while eating fun-dip and I don’t care who knows it.”
To start things off here’s my list of totally unproductive, unsophisticated things I do or would like to do or plan to do and I don’t care who knows about it or whether anyone thinks less of me for it. It is time for us to be able to have fun without guilt or shame (unless of course you are doing something wrong or shameful and then shame on you, stop it right now you lazy, irresponsible scofflaw).
1. Indoor basketball: When I was younger I could turn anything into a basketball game. Of course I had nerf hoops aplenty (probably went through 20 of them) and they were great, but garbage cans work or really any container that will hold a small projectile will do. And shooting hoops is fun wherever you are in whatever form. I strongly encourage you try the following in your home. Yes, in your home, even in the living room!! Get a small garbage can, move it to the center of the room sit next to your wife, husband, buddy, son, daughter, etc on the couch. Each of you wad up 10 pieces of perfectly good paper of different colors so you can tell them apart and then set a timer for one minute or 30 seconds or whatever and see who can make the most baskets. This is best as a full contact sport with pushing, tickling, yelling, fake gross body noises, etc. Then, feel free to brag about your winnings to total strangers like you just scored 25 points in the NBA finals. This never stops being fun. Trust me. Also, if you have a high ceiling and can find a nerf-like hoop with a more stable rim, I have a game for you called tip-hoops that could change your life. It nearly single-handedly ruined and saved my college career.
2. Silly arguments: Find a buddy and engage in serious debate about something like if all the college mascots fought (not the guys in costumes, but the actual mascots), in a giant fight in a huge warehouse, who would win? Make sure to decide ahead of time whether you are including acts of nature like: Waves, Green Waves, Hurricanes, etc. Usually, that just makes it too strange. Have this debate for at least an hour, preferably while watching something ridiculous on TV like MTV Cribs. By the way, I think my money is on Tar-Heels, assuming they’re armed.
3. Order soda. I don’t really like the taste of alcohol. I don’t have any moral objection to it, I just have never acquired the taste for it and never saw a compelling reason to try, though all the people around me seem to drink more and more the more they know me. But when you go to a nice restaurant and everyone at the table is ordering wine, or when you are at a cocktail party and everyone else is ordering,…well…cocktails, there is nothing that says “I’m still a child” like ordering Pepsi. I will admit that the oppressive weight of peer pressure has often left me ordering water, or even worse ordering expensive drinks that taste to me roughly like synthetic motor oil, when what I really wanted was Pepsi. Well, I say, order the Pepsi for crying out loud. Even better, order the Strawberry Fanta. You liked it when you were a kid, it hasn’t changed and you haven’t as much as claim. It is still delicious with very little risk of leaving you with a hangover. So, why don’t we order it? Because of society. Well, I say, hooey and poppycock, have a Pepsi.
4. Use the words “hooey” and “poppycock” as often as possible. I don’t think this is something I did when I was a kid, but it is great silly fun.
5. Eat candy. Not grown up candy like Lindor chocolate or fancy behind the glass case chocolates. I’m talking, fun dip, bottle caps, Nerds, giant sucker rings, pixie sticks. I dare you to try to be unhappy while eating one of these items. I have done the research and it proves conclusively that it is not possible.
6. Read comic books. Yes, it is popular now to call people who read comic books dorks and I don’t actually have any comic books myself, but if I did I would read them and I love the Green Lantern. So there.
7. Play the games your kids play with them and without them. I’m talking about getting on the jungle gym with your kids. Try out the monkey bars (warning, this game will now result in a separated shoulder, just so you know) Go down the slide. Run up the slide. Find one of those big inflatable bouncy places and get in and bounce around with your kids and then when your kids get tired, just keep on going, because you don’t need kids to enjoy doing kid stuff and it’s time we get out from behind that cover.
Ok, so that’s just a beginning. These activities won’t work for everyone (though, I would love to see what you would add to the list). I know some people actually enjoy wine and that is fine…I guess…though I still think it is all a lie everyone is telling each other for fear of being the only one who looks silly, but whatever. In summary, follow these guidelines and get back to doing the things that have always made you smile and laugh and make the people around you roll their grown up eyes and shake their grown up heads at you.
1. Think about what you did as a kid and ask yourself honestly, did I really stop enjoying that or did I just start thinking others would make fun of me if I kept it up? If it is the latter, try it again, I bet you still like it and if you don’t, at least now you know.
2. Don’t be ashamed of the things you like. If you like Pepsi and candy and foosball and video arcades and trampolines, don’t pretend you don’t. That said, if the things you like are illegal and hurtful and disturbing (according to me), be ashamed and seek professional help.
3. Don’t quit your job, abandon your family duties or otherwise spend tons of time doing this. I’m not talking about dropping out of life to be irresponsible. I’m talking about spending the time you do on things you only pretend to like on the things you actually like and doing the things you actually like without feeling like you shouldn’t just because of your age.
Who’s with me???
I’m going out to buy some Lucky Charms and some Gobstoppers and I might just talk in a fake British accent for the rest of the day or maybe just copy everything the people around me say. It is fun. Trust me. And if any of this makes you think I’m a huge dork or immature or juvenile idiot, just remember that I’m rubber and you’re glue and anything you say bounces off me and sticks to you….for infinity.
Comments
Then there was the countless sandlot football, baseball, and basketball games. Reminds me of one of my favorite Bruce Hornsby and the Range songs - "Take Me Back To The Old Playground."
cecil, I hate to name drop, but this one is too good to pass up. Bruce Hornsby is from Williamsburg where I went to law school. He and "the Range" would regularly show up at the college and play their own peculiar basketball game. The name they had for it is not repeatable, but the rules were that you played 3 on 3 full court and were not allowed to shoot inside the three-point line.
I played with them fairly regularly since I rarely shoot inside the three point line myself. Something I could add to my list of things that never get old is that I used to say, "man, the range has some range." whenever one of them would make a shot. It was funny every time, even to them, though much funnier to me I suspect.
Yes, I know I'm a dork, but that's a true story.
If time permitted, I would pretty much sit around all day playing video games and reading comics (of which I still own PLENTY, thank you) and watching movies and cartoons and old TV shows. After a lunch of Round Table pizza and a 3 Musketeers bar I would go back to start. Ooh! And board games! I'd play board games!
For the record, I just bought a couple of new Green Lantern books last week and I am enjoying them very much. I haven't been reading theology much lately, mostly because I'm just too tired and I have these GL books to read. They are far more relaxing anyway.
Here's a Seattle Supersonics flashback:
"From downtown, Freddy Brown!"
That's not what's wrong with you. It must be something else. That's what's RIGHT with you. Good job.