Please state your answer in the form of an answer
I finally got the sports report up on my sports site. I wish I had more time to spend on that, but oh well.
Also, there are a few of the more significant questions in life that I have been struggling with more lately. If any of you have the time and insight to provide the answers, I would be eternally grateful (and by “eternally” I mean until I forget about it which will probably be tomorrow).
1. Why is macaroni salad so much better when served at a Hawaiian restaurant? Is it the combo with the bento style meat and rice? I mean, I never eat mac salad unless I’m getting Hawaiian and then I can’t get enough. Why?
2. Why does the Coke at McDonalds taste so much better than anywhere else? I’m a Pepsi guy myself, but the Coke at McDonalds (where I never eat if I can avoid it), is notably better. Why?
3. Why do 40% the telemarketers that call me at home ask if they can speak to “Joseph Stump?” Did my name get misprinted on some global list? Speaking of telemarketers, if only one could be illegal, gambling or telephone solicitation calls to your home, which would you choose? Would it even be close? Seriously, we need a “Phone Sales Czar” in this country pronto.
4. Why would a 20 year old guy wearing more expensive clothes than me whose primary activity for the last 5 years has apparently been sticking sharp pieces of metal into his body and getting tattoos, and holding a sign that reads, “why lie, I just want your money to buy a beer” think I would give him money? Who are the people that do?
5. Why doesn’t David Stern run for President?
6. Why don’t they have high-speed internet access on airplanes?
7. Why do all kids (and most men) everywhere think that belching and farting is funny? I’m not saying I don’t, I’m just asking why? Is it the noise? It can’t be the foul odor, right? I mean what? My 2 year old thinks it’s hilarious and has since before he could talk. Can it really be genetic somehow? Has it always been true? Is it cultural?
8. Why does that guy in the “Heroes” TV show keep trying to test out his flying ability by jumping off things that are high off the ground? Why not just try to lift off?
9. Why do people continue to buy giant rear projection TVs when you can get a better and bigger picture with a media projector for less than half the price? And why doesn’t everyone have Tivo already?
10. Why does Robin Williams refuse to make a good movie?
Ok, that’s a nice round number so we’ll leave it at that. Have a good weekend.
Go Niners.
Also, there are a few of the more significant questions in life that I have been struggling with more lately. If any of you have the time and insight to provide the answers, I would be eternally grateful (and by “eternally” I mean until I forget about it which will probably be tomorrow).
1. Why is macaroni salad so much better when served at a Hawaiian restaurant? Is it the combo with the bento style meat and rice? I mean, I never eat mac salad unless I’m getting Hawaiian and then I can’t get enough. Why?
2. Why does the Coke at McDonalds taste so much better than anywhere else? I’m a Pepsi guy myself, but the Coke at McDonalds (where I never eat if I can avoid it), is notably better. Why?
3. Why do 40% the telemarketers that call me at home ask if they can speak to “Joseph Stump?” Did my name get misprinted on some global list? Speaking of telemarketers, if only one could be illegal, gambling or telephone solicitation calls to your home, which would you choose? Would it even be close? Seriously, we need a “Phone Sales Czar” in this country pronto.
4. Why would a 20 year old guy wearing more expensive clothes than me whose primary activity for the last 5 years has apparently been sticking sharp pieces of metal into his body and getting tattoos, and holding a sign that reads, “why lie, I just want your money to buy a beer” think I would give him money? Who are the people that do?
5. Why doesn’t David Stern run for President?
6. Why don’t they have high-speed internet access on airplanes?
7. Why do all kids (and most men) everywhere think that belching and farting is funny? I’m not saying I don’t, I’m just asking why? Is it the noise? It can’t be the foul odor, right? I mean what? My 2 year old thinks it’s hilarious and has since before he could talk. Can it really be genetic somehow? Has it always been true? Is it cultural?
8. Why does that guy in the “Heroes” TV show keep trying to test out his flying ability by jumping off things that are high off the ground? Why not just try to lift off?
9. Why do people continue to buy giant rear projection TVs when you can get a better and bigger picture with a media projector for less than half the price? And why doesn’t everyone have Tivo already?
10. Why does Robin Williams refuse to make a good movie?
Ok, that’s a nice round number so we’ll leave it at that. Have a good weekend.
Go Niners.
Comments
1. Off to a bad start. I hate macaroni salad. Never tasted it. Next.
2. They use the special McDonalds Coke syrup. It's sweeter.
3. They're not very smart people. Plus, they're the devil.
4A. Because it works.
4B. Suckers.
5. He's smart enough not to want the job.
6. They're waiting to find a way to charge waaaaay too much for it.
7. It's not cultural. Farts are funny. Women just don't get it. It's like crotch shots on AMV. Beyond the reckoning of men.
8. For the same reason that Superman used to jump all the time to get altitude. And I for one am glad they fixed that in the new movie. (Although Christopher Reeve did a great takeoff from the Fortress of Solitude in that classic "first-flying" scene in Superman.)
9. They're really just waiting for plasma. And everyone should have TiVo. Or at least a DVR. It is the best invention since...actually, I'm not sure there's ever been a better invention than TiVo.
10. Robin Williams likes money. It's the only explanation for such incredibly rotten choices.
I hope this helped. That'll be $125,000.
1. Never tasted it? Then how can you hate it? I think I have this conversation with my sons at least twice a week. Try it with Hawaiian food. You can thank me later.
2. Having done some Market Research for Coke, I can tell you they swear it is the same stuff, but I suspect you're right.
3. Well, they're smart enough to find me no matter where I live and figure out I have student loans and a mortgage, so you'd think they could get my name right. They are not the Devil, but merely and evil instrument of pain and suffering that the Devil can then use to abuse us in the weakened state in which they leave us.
4. Really? It doesn?
5. Like Tolkiens heroes were smart enough to throw away the ring, I'm guessing.
6. that "way" isn't a new concept for them, but I hear you.
7. Women only act like they don't get it. They think it's funny to, just not when you do it around them.
8. This still makes no sense to me.
9. Waiting for plasma is like turning down a steak for the opportunity to pay twice as much for hamburger.
10. It can't be the only thing. it just can't be. A run like that has to have some better explanation.
Not even sure what you might have in mind, but I like the sound of it. Just let me know when and where.