The Service Person Dilemna

Suddenly, once Blogger moved over to be run by Google, now I can post pictures consistently. Not sure why that is and really, I don’t care. I’m just glad I can do it now. So I think, as a way to post more regularly when I don’t have the time to write something interesting, I’ll just post more pictures of my kids. That way, at least I’ll stay in the good graces of good friend and loyal reader Peggy….and my Mom.

Today's photo offering is my improbably rosy cheeked youngest son Griffin at a sleep over at the grandparents.

Today, a picture and a note….quite a serendipity.

I have been vexed for sometime by a worrisome dilemma. I guess it is two dilemnas if you count the one where I wonder why I don’t use the word “vexed” more often, but that’s for another day.

First the set up, then the question. It’s so much more confusing the other way around.
Tell me if you’ve ever found yourself here.

You’re walking down the street or grocery store aisle or some other public spot. Maybe you’re excitedly anticipating the fish tacos you are carrying back to eat at your desk for lunch to the chagrin of every co-worker in smelling distance. Maybe you’re trying to decide whether to finally try Pepsi One and wondering why Pepsi would need two diet colas. A person approaches. You glance up at them. They aren’t really approaching you in particular, but just happen to be walking in your direction. You immediately recognize them, but can’t place them. Your brain is whirling around – Church? No; Work? No; Your son’s school? No. The remake of the movie Dial M for Murder? No…..ummm…uh oh, the person could look at you any minute...this is getting uncomfortable….who are they????? Aaaarrggg!!!!

And then it hits you. Pepsi thought they could make Diet Pepsi taste more like regular, but they didn’t want to change the formula and risk a “New Coke” like fiasco.

Also, you suddenly recognize the person as the guy or gal behind the counter at your favorite, deli, burrito cart, coffee stand, etc. You see them 3-4 times a week or maybe slightly less, but you never have much more conversation than

“Can I help you?”

“Umm, sure I’ll get the Honkin Huge Burrito with extra meat.”

“And guac and cream, right?”

“What? Broccoli cream? Egads, no.”

“No, guacamole and sour cream.”

“Ahh, right, yes. Hey you remembered. Nice.”

And that’s about the extent of it. You see them all the time. They prepare food and beverage for you on a regular basis, but your relationship never extends beyond the paper hat, the tip jar with cheesy plea for spare change and the buy 10 get 1 free card.

Now, however, you are seeing that person in real life. They are at your grocery store, or are sitting next to you at your movie theater. They are not offering you food or drink. You recognize them of course and as soon as they look up, they will likely recognize you as well.

Then what? Do you acknowledge each other? How much acknowledgment is sufficient? Upward head nod, no speaking? Downward head nod, no speaking? Knowing hello? Full blown stop and chat? If you go with the stop and chat (not a personal favorite to be honest), what do you chat about? “Soooo, how are those lattes?” I mean, what is the proper protocol here? I think you have to acknowledge each other. You certainly don’t want to offend them and risk not only being rude but the potential presence of foreign objects in your food. But you don’t know each other at all and have nothing to talk about beyond food and beverage service.

Personally, I usually go with the warm smile like I’m happy and somewhat surprised to see them and offer that with a “oh hey” or “how’s it goin?” I usually like them and don't want them to think otherwise and just generally want to be friendly, so that seems like the way to go. I maintain my walk, careful not to pause long enough that I might get trapped in an inadvertent stop and chat, and I’m on my way. But I have no confidence in this approach. I just don’t know what society demands of me. It’s not that I need to follow society’s rules, but I would like to know when I’m breaking them.

Please help.