Tivo, say it ain't so

Turns out today is National Pancake Day. Thank you Peggy for calling that to our attention. IHOP is serving free pancakes if you make a donation to a children’s charity. According to an IHOP representative, the free pancakes are already “selling like Krispy Kremes.” When asked how many hotcakes he thought they would give away as part of this promotion, he said, “what’s a hotcake?”

And now, I have some sad news. As some of you know, I am a bit of a Tivo fan. For those of you who still suffer through conventional television, Tivo is a brand of Digital Video Recorder. It’s one of those things that hooks up to your TV and allows you to pause and digitally record what you’re watching. Tivo was a pioneer in the technology and developed a tremendous product. If I had to choose between giving up color on my TV and giving up Tivo, I would get used to black and white. It’s that good. Stephen Hawking has called it the most significant technological achievement of mankind since the spaceshuttle….or the poptart…he wasn’t sure which came first.

Anyway, I’m a loyal Tivo customer to say the least. The last time we moved I switched from Directv, which I also love, to Dish Network and gave up Tivo for Dish’s DVR. Huge mistake. I was like Ron Burgundy in the bear cage screaming “I immediately regret this decision.” It was rubbish. Both Dish and their DVR were an insult to all that is good about television and to humanity in general. So, I switched back. I’ve been very happy with both Directv and Tivo ever since. That is, until now.

I have an HD TV in my living room. It’s nothing too fancy or anything, but I really like it. The problem is, I have no HD signal coming into my living room. Why? Because I didn’t want to give up Tivo and until recently, there was no HD Tivo. But HD is ridiculously good. I mean it’s like going from wax on a phonograph to CDs with dolby surround. Naturally, I would prefer to be watching TV in HD and so would you, whether you realize it or not.

Last year I discovered that Tivo had created an HD dual tuner (allows you to record two different shows at once) receiver for Directv. I was elated until I discovered that buying one would cost approximately the same as purchasing beachfront property in Malibu, or a bottle of orange juice at the airport. So, I decided to wait until the price came down. Finally, right around Thanksgiving, the price came down from completely ludicrous to only fairly ridiculous. I routinely rationalize and make ridiculous electronic purchases so I felt HD Tivo was finally in my grasp.

Then I did a bunch of research and discovered the new Tivo didn’t work right, but they were going to fix it in January of this year with the Series 3 Tivo, the mother of all Tivos. So, I waited some more.

Then the Series 3 came out and they were so proud of their achievement they decided to charge roughly 3 times the amount of other similar DVRs. I was furious, but I was well practiced at waiting by this time, so I decided to wait some more for the price to come down. I noticed yesterday that the price had already dropped 25% in a month. I began to get a little excited so I decided to read more about the product.

It sounded glorious. Beautiful HD picture, tons of storage, networking options to my PC, true 5.1 surround, a new back-lit touch screen remote…..I was actually purring as I read the specs. Then I discovered Tivo’s terrible secret.

Brace yourself. If you have a weak stomach, look away. Keep your loved ones close and hold them tightly…..

Tivo and Directv have gotten a divorce. Once, they were powerful allies against the forces of inferior television, but now they are enemies. Not surprisingly it is Rupert Murdoch’s fault as it turns out, but that’s all I’m going to say about that for now. The Series 3 Tivo (and all future Tivos from what I’ve read), do not work with satellite providers. In other words, I can not get an HD Tivo for my Directv!!!!! There isn’t even a work around available.

Why…..WHY……..WHY?????? Oh, the humanity.

So, now the day I thought would never come is nearly upon us. I am fairly deeply invested in Directv because of the hardware involved and I refuse to go back to cable. That means, I may soon no longer be a Tivo customer. No more Season Pass, no more jump back fast forward, no more “buc-up” noise when I hit the remote. Let’s all just have a moment of silence here and reflect on that…..

Ok, that’s enough…

On a positive note, it does appear that Directv’s HD Dual tuner receiver is pretty nice. It was roundly criticized when it first came out last September, but since then they have worked out the bugs and added some nice features. It is also, less than half of what Tivo is charging for its unit. I don’t have any money to buy any such product right now, but my current Tivo is starting to die and I know replacement is imminent. I must start now the process of trying to face a Tivoless existence.

Thank you for your support in this difficult time.

With any luck, I will also have a quick review of the Tenacious D concert on my Entertainment Blog and a rant about why the same thing that is ruining the legal profession is now ruining sports on my sports blog, later today.

Comments

Anonymous said…
I am so sorry about the shocking and horrific events in the world of Tivo. Next they will stop producing Viva paper towels! Are you "working" from IHOP today?
I know you are a Tivo loyalist, but this nonsense is why we have over-the-air HD and a Sony DVR, for which we pay nothing (zero-zip-nada) on a monthly basis. We don't have all the channel options, but think of all the time I save not feeling compelled to watch all those design shows on TLC or BHGTV!

The DVR opens your mind up to a world where media is there for you (instead of the other way around) and I want more (dual or triple tuners would be nice, so that we can watch both "Men in Trees" and "Shark", for instance). But that is not all, I also crave wireless internet access and a reasonable working surface in our "TV Room" so that I can multi-task.

My 4 year old son has never known a world without Tivo or DVRs. He visits his grandparents and insists that they can call up Sesame Street or a Dora the Explorer episode on demand. "But, we watched it last morning," he'll say trying to get his grandparents to understand that there is no such thing as "the program isn't on right now."
Josh Stump said…
Mactastic,

Thank you. I know you feel my pain and even if you don't, I'm sure you will with all the whining you will have to put up with.
Josh Stump said…
Davises,

The big problem is that a DVR is not a DVR if you know what I mean. I've tried to leave Tivo, but it is soooo much better I kept coming back.

We go through the same thing with our kids. They will also grow up believing that Seinfeld is always on. They're so spoiled.
Peggy said…
As you well know, everybody loses in a divorce.
Is there any kind of support group for others who are suffering like you?
Stoogelover said…
Being from a TiVo-less recent history, I have no idea just what I'm missing. Just today, though, I dumped DISH and went to DirecTv w/ their DVR. I suppose if all you've ever known is DVR, then grace is sufficient???

Stoogelover
Mike Lewis said…
You can borrow my VCR if you want.

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