Am I on track here?

I’ve surely blogged about this before, so this may be more of a follow up than a new post, but oh well. Just in case this all sounds too familiar, I've added a bonus picture of my adorable children at no extra cost. I feel moved to say something about one of our more critical national debates. I have been working diligently with the Republican National Committee to hammer out the official party line for them on this subject so they will be properly prepared for the presidential elections next year.
So, is it “on track” or “untracked”?

All my life I have used the expression “on track.” In fact, when I was only 6 months old I spoke my first sentence which was “Mom, I know I haven’t been sleeping through the night lately, but tonight I’m going to get back on track.” Of course, to the untrained ears of adults it sounded more like two grunts and a belch, but any self respecting baby would have understood me perfectly to be using the expression “on track.”

Until a few years ago, I had never even heard anyone use the expression “untracked.” Or if I had, I had just assumed it was someone trying to say “on track” and getting their tongue tied. However, in recent years I have come to realize people are actually saying “untracked” on purpose. At first, I was alarmed and even outraged. Outrage eventually faded to reluctant acceptance and now has re-blossomed into irritation.

If you have not heard or seen anyone use the word “untracked” in place of “on track” try reading some sports articles sometime. You can’t read 10 of them without seeing the word. As in, “The 49er offense has been among the worst in the league this year, but they are hoping to get untracked in their game against the Seahawks this week.”

It is time for us to take a stand against “untracked” and protect the ongoing use of the expression “on track.” It is our civic duty.

Here’s my issue with untracked. As used, getting “untracked” is nearly universally offered as a positive thing, as in my 49er example above. It describes breaking out of a slump or simply taking your activity to a higher level. In other words, it is used approximately as a replacement to “on track.” But just looking at the words, this makes no sense.

The “tracks” referenced in both expressions are no doubt a reference to train tracks or anything else that moves on rails or tracks which keep the vehicle or object moving in the desired direction. I am guessing that anyone riding on a train is going to side with me on this debate pretty readily. You see, to get or be “on track” in a train is the whole idea. Getting untracked? Not so much.

Untracked means you are not going the way you are supposed to be going. In fact it means you have busted loose of the very things that exist to guide you and are now careening down a wooded hillside toward a ravine. There is no control, no direction, no hope for the small forest animals that stand in your path. You are untracked and everyone will suffer for it. Aaaaahhhhh!!!! Oh the humanity!

In fact, if you are unfortunate enough to become untracked, your only hope is to get….wait for it….here it comes…. “on track!!!”

So, how can this ever be a good thing? Why would the 49er offense want to get “untracked?” Things are already bad enough. Right now they have been playing badly, but making some progress. If they become untracked, they will have no focus, no direction. It will be chaos. I mean ask yourself. if you were moving on tracks would you ever find yourself hoping to become untracked? I think not.

Alas, however, it gets even worse. Now people are using the expression when there is no sign that anything has been on a track in the first place. For example, I heard someone the other day say, “Yankee fans were happy to see Alex Rodriguez get untracked tonight against Tampa Bay.” The night before Alex got 3 hits. For the season A-Rod has put up ridiculously good numbers. He has to be the runaway favorite for American League MVP. So, what track was he on, that he should want to get off it? I mean, wouldn’t getting untracked against the Devil Rays mean he would go 0-4 with 3 strikeouts? This makes no sense, people!

So, as if it weren’t bad enough to be using the term untracked in place of on track, people are now using it when someone or something has not even been headed in the wrong direction. If you insist on using untracked instead of on track because it is the trendy thing to say and you have finally grown tired of saying synergy and paradigm and other trendy words, then at least use it only when the object has been on a “track” of some kind headed in a bad direction, such that coming untracked could actually in some sense be a positive thing. Of course, the expression still doesn’t work that well as even if you are on a train headed to Philly and you want to go to Seattle, coming untracked isn’t generally your best option. Unless of course, you are Jack Bower and the train is loaded with nuclear warheads that will detonate if the train reaches Philadelphia. But mostly, I don’t think people find themselves in that situation very often.

So, if someone has been in a slump, suggest that they need to get on track. If someone hasn’t been hitting or making their shots or showing up for work on time or staying sober or whatever, feel free to describe their need to get on track. But for the love of trains everywhere please reserve the word “untracked” if you must use it at all instead of on track, only for the most dire nuclear train headed to Philly sort of circumstances.

Thank you for your support.