After 6 weeks off from blogging, a little story of my morning commute
When I drove in this morning from Beaverton (which is a lot like Bosnia except for the government, economy, culture, architecture and geography), a van full of commandoes shot out the tires on my truck. I swerved and narrowly missed a group of penniless orphans crossing the road. Just then a grenade hit near the passenger door and the whole cab burst into flames.
I smashed the driver door window with one strong blow from the handle of my TEC-9 semi-automatic and dove from the flames. Guns blazed as I dodged the cross fire to plant myself between the evil gunmen and the terrified orphans. My head was bleeding from crashing my truck. My clothes were ragged and burned. I had taken two bullets in the arm and one in the leg. I was barely able to remain upright and struggled to draw enough breath to allow me to stand and fight. But fight on I did.....
This morning I fought to protect our freedom and our way of life and our penniless orphans. Seeing my inner strength that embodied all that is good in the human spirit, my adversaries could not help but be inspired and they laid down their arms and immediately declared their devotion to democracy, free market economies and the inalienable right to acquire hot, fresh Krispy Kreme doughnuts.
Oh wait, what I meant to say was that I drove to work today and it was a little rainy outside. I just misspoke about that other stuff. I write and speak every day and I can’t be required to remember every detail of every event that happens. I just misspoke, alright? ALRIGHT?!?
There, ok, now I think I’m ready to run for President. I hope I can count on your vote.
I smashed the driver door window with one strong blow from the handle of my TEC-9 semi-automatic and dove from the flames. Guns blazed as I dodged the cross fire to plant myself between the evil gunmen and the terrified orphans. My head was bleeding from crashing my truck. My clothes were ragged and burned. I had taken two bullets in the arm and one in the leg. I was barely able to remain upright and struggled to draw enough breath to allow me to stand and fight. But fight on I did.....
This morning I fought to protect our freedom and our way of life and our penniless orphans. Seeing my inner strength that embodied all that is good in the human spirit, my adversaries could not help but be inspired and they laid down their arms and immediately declared their devotion to democracy, free market economies and the inalienable right to acquire hot, fresh Krispy Kreme doughnuts.
Oh wait, what I meant to say was that I drove to work today and it was a little rainy outside. I just misspoke about that other stuff. I write and speak every day and I can’t be required to remember every detail of every event that happens. I just misspoke, alright? ALRIGHT?!?
There, ok, now I think I’m ready to run for President. I hope I can count on your vote.
Comments
Everybody knows you would not be caught wearing clothing in that condition.
I'm pretty sure you keep a change of clothes on hand at all times just in case....
Thurman8er, thanks. A wandering mind while driving can be dangerous. It might not find its way back.
Cheryl, sweet. Thanks. My first vote. I wish I could frame it like your first dollar.
Cwinwc, Thanks. After the second winter we've been having here central Florida is sounding really, really nice.
Randy, I'm not sure how you knew that, but it's ok I got a cream that cleared that right up.
Peggy, you see right to the core of me. Also, tell Tim, I had that same idea before realizing how little material they would have.